The curious incident of the cycle at midnight
This was written two weeks back. Just forgot to put it up.
Leaving for home late last night from office, I was crossing the road to my car. I was dreaming of the yummy chicken my sister had made and how I’d resisted the mutton biryani people were eating in office. I’d plugged in my headphones was humming to ‘Lucy in the Sky’ when I saw two kids running around with a kiddie cycle in the middle of the road. Our office parking is right opposite a residential colony but I’d never seen kids out so late. And because it is near an advertising office, speeding cars with drunks can never be ruled out. So I pulled out the headphones and asked them not to play on the road. Being nice kids, they came to the footpath and I glanced around for their parents. One of them spoke up, “Sorry didi, plastic dhoond rahe thhe. Khaana khana hai.” (We were looking for plastic scrap so we can buy food).
I stood looking at them and suddenly I could see the chicken that was waiting for me at home. I started crying right in the middle of the bloody road. The kids were staring at me curiously. One actually asked, “Didi, aap theek ho?” I shook myself and gave them money. They thanked me with their huge smiles. It broke my heart. They ran away excited to buy food (I hope). I got into the car and drove home. I couldn’t eat the chicken my sister had so lovingly made. I was guilty. What have I done to deserve this life? I have seen tough times, I have. But then I’m still getting three meals (more actually) everyday. I have a warm bed to sleep at night. And the whole night I couldn’t sleep.
As I was getting dresses in the morning, I realised I was guilty because I was happy. Isn’t that weird? Can one only be proud of suffering and pain? I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve these comforts whereas those kids don’t know where their next meal will come from! Why did I start crying? Why couldn’t I eat the chicken? Why do I feel guilty for being comfortable?
Does society condition us to feel guilty about every good thing? I felt bad for those kids so I gave them money. Why did I need to do that? Just so I could ease my conscience? Why do I need to do that? Why do I feel bad for being rich when so many people are poor? Is it wrong to be rich? Why must I constantly justify my ‘goodness’? Or actually why must I constantly prove my ‘goodness’? The mere fact that I intend to post this on my blog says I need to tell people what I did. WHY? Aaarrgghhhh ….
Help me out here. Please.
7 ramblings from the sane:
I've been sitting for five minutes wondering if I should open my big mouth or not .....
Be grateful for what you have, and do what you can for others. You can not live someone else's life or suffer for the other person.
This is your life path, and that is theirs ....
I think I'll get a lot of flak for this but this is my belief
i think ady, ur both right & wrong in feeling guilty. Right, coz yes we are luckier than those kids that we have all the luxuries of the world (Roti, chicken biryani & the dessert to eat, Kapada & variety of it to choose from every morning & even evenings, a nice enuf makaan to live) and blv u me, we still complain endlessly & feel we should have/get more out life. But then you are wrong to think that way, i blv in karma, what goes arnd, comes arnd.. by that i dnt mean that they have done something wrong to deserve what they got, but the fact that we were born in families that could provide us with most of our needs, gave us wonderful education & so on. U & me cannot decide which parents to be born to nor can they, therefore, there is a supernatural power that controls the strings & we are mere puppets. So, it He who decide the kind of life we lead also. Dnt you agree ??? Think about it. i'm not saying that people more fortunate, like us should just stop thinking about it do nothing for those less fortunate ones, but at the same time, i feel that we cannot stop living the life we have been given. A good samaritan's duty is to try and help them in our own ways, but continue to live their lives knowing deep down that we have done nothing wrong to anyone knowingly... live a true life and be a true human being.
I guess i rambled enough...
@ Ritu
What you're saying is absolutely right. Its just a little hard to adapt to. And I honestly don't know why.
@ Puneeta
I agree dude wholeheartedly but then why do people say that when you feel like complaining, think of those who are worse off? Isn't that kinda stupid when you know you're not in control of certain circumstances?
I agree with Ritu & Puneeta.
What goes around, comes around.
Do think of those in a lesser position than yourself when you're upset with how little you have. (even if you know it's not in our control)
Give them if you must or wish to, but don't give them so much that they stop trying to work for themselves.
The Lord & his ways are for real. And we shall never understand his ways. Just trust Him and his decisions.
Stop crying. It won't help except to clear up the dust you got in your eyes while crossing the road.
Hi Puneeta. Your name made me think of my cousin Puneeta who's a doc. :-)
Came to your blog after a long time. Self realization and questioning is good. We all come with a life path and in that journey we need to constantly remind ourselves that there are people with whom we can share the wealth of goodness the creator has bestowed us with. Do not feel guilty as long as it's something your soul does not justify. hugs.
@ Ramit & Tikuli
I was surprised at my reaction. I think it was one of those days but the thing is I know you're right. I should do what I can but the thing is, the Big questions is; why is it so? Why...
Inane but its one question that's haunting me these days.
Why is it so? Or am I asking for the answer of 'Who came first; chicken or the egg?'
Post a Comment